Friday, September 14, 2012

Random Shakespearean Insult Generator

So, there are several, but here's a Shakespearean insult generator.  It combines canonical Shakespearean insults with a list from this Shakespeare Insult Kit.

What's that?  You don't have your computer handy?

Good thing you printed it as a d50 table.  (Also available in Google Docs if you want a spreadsheet format.)

Roll 3d50 (or 3d100 if you prefer) and arrange as "Thou [column 1 result] [column 2 result] [column 3 result]!"


d50d100Column 1Column 2Column 3
11-2artlessbase-courtapple-john
23-4bawdybat-fowlingbaggage
35-6beslubberingbeef-wittedbarnacle
47-8bootlessbeetle-headedbladder
59-10churlishboil-brainedboar-pig
611-12cockeredclapper-clawedbugbear
713-14cloutedclay-brainedbum-bailey
815-16cravencommon-kissingcanker-blossom
917-18currishcrook-patedclack-dish
1019-20dankishdismal-dreamingclotpole
1121-22dissemblingdizzy-eyedcoxcomb
1223-24droningdogheartedcodpiece
1325-26errantdread-bolteddeath-token
1427-28fawningearth-vexingdewberry
1529-30fobbingelf-skinnedflap-dragon
1631-32frowardfat-kidneyedflax-wench
1733-34frothyfen-suckedflirt-gill
1835-36gleekingflap-mouthedfoot-licker
1937-38goatishfly-bittenfustilarian
2039-40gorbelliedfolly-fallengiglet
2141-42impertinentfool-borngudgeon
2243-44infectiousfull-gorgedhaggard
2345-46jarringguts-gripingharpy
2447-48loggerheadedhalf-facedhedge-pig
2549-50lumpishhasty-wittedhorn-beast
2651-52mammeringhedge-bornhugger-mugger
2753-54mangledhell-hatedjoithead
2855-56mewlingidle-headedlewdster
2957-58paunchyill-breedinglout
3059-60pribblingill-nurturedmaggot-pie
3161-62pukingknotty-patedmalt-worm
3263-64punymilk-liveredmammet
3365-66quallingmotley-mindedmeasle
3467-68rankonion-eyedminnow
3569-70reekyplume-pluckedmiscreant
3671-72roguishpottle-deepmoldwarp
3773-74ruttishpox-markedmumble-news
3875-76saucyreeling-ripenut-hook
3977-78spleenyrough-hewnpigeon-egg
4079-80spongyrude-growingpignut
4181-82surlyrump-fedputtock
4283-84totteringshard-bornepumpion
4385-86unmuzzledsheep-bitingratsbane
4487-88vainspur-galledscut
4589-90venomedswag-belliedskainsmate
4691-92villainoustardy-gaitedstrumpet
4793-94warpedtickle-brainedvarlot
4895-96waywardtoad-spottedvassal
4997-98weedyunchin-snoutedwhey-face
5099-100yeastyweather-bittenwagtail

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