Friday, September 6, 2019

Alacritous Ogre

Here is an intensely stupid conversation from a couple of weeks ago.

A friend of mine was watching the above speedrun, and given Shrek's movement speed, conversation turned to, "How terrifying is a permanently hasted ogre?"

Now your players can find out.

BECMI-style Stats:

(as modified from Labyrinth Lord)
No. Enc.: 1d6 (2d6)
Alignment: Chaotic
Movement: 180' (60')
Armor Class: 4
Hit Dice: 4 + 1
Attacks: 2 (club)
Damage: 1d10
Save: F4
Morale: 10
Hoard Class: XX + 1,000 gp
XP: 290

Ogre culture is as described on page 90 of Labyrinth Lord, except these ogres live at double-speed. Weird, smelly, violent, giant-sized speed-freaks.

5e-style Stats:

Alacritous Ogre
Large giant, chaotic evil
Armor Class 13 (natural armor)
Hit Points 59 (7d10+21)
Speed 80 ft.
Str 19 (+4), Dex 8 (-1), Con 16 (+3), Int 5 (-3), Wis 7 (-2), Cha 7 (-2)
Skills Athletics +6
Senses darkvision 60 ft., passive Perception 8
Languages Common, Giant
Challenge 2 (450 XP)
Evasion.  If the ogre is subjected to an effect that allows it to make a Dexterity saving throw to take only half damage, it instead takes no damage if it succeeds on the saving throw, and only half damage if it fails.
Multiattack.  The ogre makes two weapon attacks.
Greatclub.  Melee Weapon Attack: +6 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target.  Hit: 13 (2d8+4) bludgeoning damage.
Javelin.  Melee or Ranged Weapon Attack: +6 to hit, reach 5 ft. or range 30/120 ft., one target.  Hit: 11 (2d6+4) piercing damage.


  1. Not quite a quantum ogre, but not too shabby.

    Anybody else looking at that 5e hash and wondering how it takes that much verbiage to say “ogre”?

    1. That's 5e, baby!

      All of those letters and numbers technically mean something, but you're unlikely to use all of those statistics in any one encounter. Whether the explicit ogre inherent to 5e or the implied ogre inherent to Labyrinth Lord is superior is probably a matter of highly-contested opinion and how much you trust your GM.


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