Thursday, October 13, 2011

Sharpened Hooks: Dead Presidents

A word of warning: if I run an occult game wherein the President "dies of natural causes" or is assassinated, this post probably contains the "how."  So, you know, spoiler alert (though I might also use this as a red herring, leading to an anticlimax, just to be contrary).  Although, to be fair, that probably would appear at the beginning: your contact suggests the "death by natural causes" isn't very natural at all.

Anyway.  The President's waste is sequestered.

I can't find this from any source I'd consider reputable, but I'll give you the ones I could find.  Check out this one (Manswers is actually where I first heard this claim), this one, and this one (somewhere in the middle, they talk about George W. Bush's urine and feces being bagged and removed).  All of these mention George W. Bush specifically, but there's some anecdotal evidence that this practice is now standard.  If I ever find a halfway reputable resource, I'll let you know.

It's probably so difficult to find information because everyone gets all giggly about feces, but it's a common claim.

The basic gist is this: the President's feces and urine are isolated for safe disposal.  In this modern era of genetic testing, this is a necessary precaution: someone could easily learn about any genetic diseases the President might have and use those against him.  For that matter, if the President takes any medicines, chemical testing would determine those and give further information to terrorists or foreign powers.

Of course, that's the claim anyway.  But what about your modern/occult/conspiracy game?

What if the Secret Service doesn't remove the waste to protect the President from genetic testing, but magical attack?

With magic, the principle of sympathy is important, so keeping the President's waste out of enemy hands has an entirely different purpose — an enemy magus could easily assassinate the President, through magic, from halfway around the world.  For that matter, more insidious practices are possible; an alchemist could easily use the purloined urine and feces to make a Presidential homunculus, and install this double as the real one.

Imagine it: a group of occultists uncover a conspiracy by which the innocuous Presidential heart attack is actually a magical assassination.  You could even combine both plots into one: the President is too hard to access, but the Vice President is not.  An alchemical double of the Vice President has been created and installed, and the President has been assassinated by magic.  Now these insane cultists control the White House, and it's up to whomever (Secret Service, CIA, secret government occult branch, lone-nut occultists) to stop them.

Note that this also applies to science fiction settings: using Presidential DNA, terrorists could tailor a virus or build a clone.

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